Medical portal operation

About 6 years ago I made a post pondering the use of the medical internet portal of my doctor. It was this picture and I wondered why these people were so happy looking at their medical information and why they were using a big ass laptop out in the middle of a field.

Well, today I went for my 6 month visit and had a bunch of extra time waiting for the doctor in the little ‘meet with the doctor room’ and I noticed that they were promoting their web portal for all things doctor. And it brought forth many questions.

These are separated by 6 years and 400 or so miles so one can only assume that to use a patient portal you must use a big ass laptop, outside in a field or some garden thing. You must be happy and you must do it with some old person looking over your shoulder. I suppose to attract the Tennessee’ers you also should also wear a goofy hat. Tennessee also has added sharing your kidney efficiency metrics with a child, that obviously can’t read yet, and his efficiency probably is measured on the percent in the diaper.

An ill wind blew

Back in August we had to do a week long 1400 mile road trip and when we got home on Saturday we were greeted with this view.

The big tree next to the bridge lost a bunch of big branches.

Two big trees next to the back creek fell over.

The big oak tree in the back lost a limb and the tree I had my trail cam mounted on fell over. But the worst casualty was the big beech along the back fence line, it broke right at the big knot hole.

It seems that on Tuesday of that week there was a late afternoon thunderstorm and apparently it generated some really strong localized sheer winds. Our back woods seemed to be the center of the whole thing and it covered about a quarter mile square area. Our neighbor next door lost a couple trees by his pool and some limbs and the house across the road and back towards town lost a bunch of branches from the trees lining their driveway.

Mary and I spent a couple days cutting up most of the stuff in the front but we had to have the tree guys come in to do the rest. I’ll tell you one thing those mafia guys got it right when they decided to use tree chippers to get rid of bodies. Those things are amazing at how fast they can eat a tree.

When they were done we kept the leftovers to make chairs or something out of.

When my high school friend Jack was here last spring he emailed a poem back about this tree, because of the fact it had grown around the barb wire many years ago. When I sent him an email about the tree falling over I included a poem of my own. I’ll reprint it here since I’m sure it will be required reading in all Jr. High English classes very soon.

To a Beech

Twas, because all poems should start with twas, the afternoon of Tuesday

The ominous cumulonimbus signaling an ill wind could blow.

There was a stillness roaring through the woods

A sense of calm that had the inhabitants on edge

A sense of foreboding that couldn’t be absorbed by the tranquility

When in a instant it hit, the roaring gust, the upending blast.

“Holy smoke” the parson yelled

well not really

There was no smoke and there was no parson. This poem just needed dramatic dialog

The trees and branches, with no one around fell to the ground maybe making a sound.

The two at the creek sitting on the bedrock just blew over after standing for decades

And the mighty beech having absorbed the wires decades ago that tried to fence it in,

Dun fall over.

After standing for maybe a hundred or more years now is just a collection of wood laying on the ground

One can only hope that before it fell that there was some kind of tree copulation that might produce

The son of a beech

 

Walt Whitman holds nothing to me.