Category: Great Writing

August 21, 2017 1:28:20 PM Be here. (It’s a Monday)

At that time on that day the Estate D’Yusmith will descend into near total darkness for 1 minute 35 seconds as it is in the path of the great eclipse of 2017. Now that is not as much as the 2 minutes 40 seconds you would get if you were northeast of Nashville but its more than I’ve ever experienced before.

I’ve seen partial eclipses before and I have memory of some kind of an eclipse from when I was a kid. In fact this got me thinking about that as I have a definite memory of one happening and I’ve had to do some research to try to figure out if I was actually remembering or if it actually happened.
As I remembered it I was waiting in the car at Eavey’s grocery in Fort Wayne when it continued to get darker and darker and then got lighter and lighter. I don’t remember being aware of it being an eclipse but I assume I must have been. This all occurred while everyone that was with us was in the grocery. I thought i was maybe 9 or 10 at the time. So I went searching for eclipse candidates for what I remembered. It had to be early to mid afternoon because of where I recall the sun being out the wind shield of the car, closer to mid afternoon. As it turns out there is only one possibility between 1950 and 1965 and that was July 20 1963 that in Fort Wayne . Check out the information here. So it would seem that at 4:40 in the afternoon I might have been in the parking lot of Eaveys in Fort Wayne. There are some problems with this theory including: this was a Thursday afternoon and Dad certainly would not have been there and I don’t recall Mom making trips to Fort Wayne alone or during the week. I was 13 Polly was 9 and Lori was 3 within a week of being 4 which I don’t see a trip by Mom alone with all three of us. Polly and I maybe. The time was at the outer limit of time needed to get home in time to be home when Dad got home. Anyway, I remember an eclipse at Eaveys parking lot in the car. The other 2 or 3 I have experienced I don’t much remember. If you look at the paths of all the total eclipses from 1951 to 2000 you will see that I’ve not been near any of the others to even get much of a partial experience.

Just as a side note Eaveys in Fort Wayne was a big grocery store. In fact when it was built in the late 1950’s it was the largest grocery store in the world and was featured on the cover, and a story about, in Life magazine. Of course at 80000 sq. ft. it now would be about the size of the toilet paper section of the big Walmart.

So you can see that being in the path of a total eclipse is pretty much a once in a lifetime event. Although as you can see below that that at least for a small subset of people in Arkansas and Southern Illinois that for some reason they get 2 in a 28 year span. And Central Indiana gets one in 8 years. In fact it looks like Portland is right on the center line.

Now that you have all that information plan on being in Nashville on the above date for what would be what could be the only chance to see the great eclipse from the Estate D’Yusmith.

The warship Vasa

While in Stockholm we visited the museum containing the 17th century ship Vasa. The Vasa was a ship built in 1626-1628 in Stockholm and on it’s maiden voyage sank in Stockholm Harbor, and after the valuable cannons were recovered in the 1700’s, was forgotten until it was raised in 1961. After years of restoration and repair it ended up in the museum in 1988. This is the top tourist attraction in Sweden the ship is the source of Swedish ship recovery mania.
The Wikipedia page here has the full interesting story but for those of you that don’t care the short story is as follows.
The King of Sweden had Sweden at war with Poland and some other guys. Sweden was the big kahuna in the early 1600’s around northern Europe. This was some secular conflict between Catholics and Protestants (similar to the Sunni Shia thing in the mid east). The King guy wanted a big boat with 2 gun decks and big guns since most the battles were on the Baltic Sea. So he got his Dutch shipbuilder to agree to his dimensions (which apparently was the way things were done, no science or data) and the shipbuilder started building a big ol’ boat. He got sick and turned it over to his #2 guy before going on and being ill and eventually dying sometime before the ship launched. The new guy kind of felt there might be something wrong with the design but couldn’t do anything about it so they completed the boat. Some quality control type guy came along and had 30 guys run from one side of the ship to the other to show the head navy guy that it was unstable but the head navy guy said “ship it” because the King had been sending letters saying “get me the damn boat” . So it set sail and a strong breeze hit it (not a light wind) and it rolled over and water entered through it’s gun openings and it sank about 1400 yards from dock. As someone that has worked in quality quite a few years I have seen many ship sinkings caused by the same issues. Poor design, unbending time scales, and know it all management types that think their position and ego over rule the law of physics. They had a big investigation and found no one at fault (probably because the King was at fault as much as anyone with his demands and top down management system) and the dead shipbuilding guy went down in history as being not so good.
The museum itself was quite dark and made picture taking quite difficult (unlike the wiki guys that obviously had a closed museum and lights). This is a 1/10 scale model that has been painted as they think the Vasa was painted (if you are a King you have to show off)

This picture from the back is about the only picture that is any good (for those that are wondering this was shot with ISO 6400, it was really dark there and space too big for flash.)

So anyway it was a good museum, a lot of explanation and things to see. Just wish they had more light.
On our way back from the museum we passed this gate to part of the huge city park.

This was just before the bridge on this street leading back to the city.

Stockholm is on about the same latitude as Anchorage Alaska so for about half the year it is grey and dark. Sunset was between 3 and 4 in the afternoon while we were there. We walked along the water to the far distance of the picture to our hotel which was right next to this poorly named clothing store.

We went in; should have been called Crap Studios.

November 3, 2015 and another Presidential Proclamation

This morning the President made another big announcement. I am now eligible for full Social Security benefits and thus the government considers me eligible to be fully retired, I guess. Those of us born between 1943 and 1954 can call 66 the official year. Those born after 1959 must wait to 67 and in between gradually increase so suck it after 54 ‘ers. Of course my Congressman, Congressman Fred “just call me Fred” Upton couldn’t just leave that to happen without a fight. Congressman Fred said he was introducing a bill that would deny SS to you unless you could prove that during the 1950’s you wore hats. Now that made about as much sense as anything else him and his GOP guys have done over my lifetime (well except for that Eisenhower guy and the interstate highway) but don’t worry I’ve got it covered.
From the most early age I decked myself out in stylish hats.

You may say “it looks cold out a hat made sense, even if it is an old man hat with ear flaps” but here you can see another stylish number in the summer heat.

Of course the famous picture of me that should have been on the cover of Life magazine featured a hat along with fence posts ready to impale my young body.

Sunday go to meetin’? Requires a hat.

What third birthday party wouldn’t be complete without a Sherlock Holmes hat.

And yes it was a dark world back then.
Being outside hell driving requires a hat also.

I thought for a moment that the arrival of a sister might have put and end to the hats…

But nope, hats for all.

In fact the hell driving required many styles of hats including this, before it’s time, flat brim baby.

During the 50’s hats were required when watching TV.

During the summers in August we would spend a week at the lake in northern Indiana for a week where Grandma Marchant and I wold color, wearing a hat.

Another birthday, another hat.

Winter always brought out the hats, of course, although you will note that dad seemed to not need a hat or for that matter a winter coat.

There were a series of illnesses that all kid had to go through in the 50’s, chicken pox measles, and mumps. Here I am confined to bed with the mumps, and of course, a hat.

As I reached the later years of the 50’s the hat became more theme oriented depending on what park program was in play. Here is some Indian hats.

Here is a King Aurthur hat (that sword is still in the footlocker in the furnace room and maybe the Indian hat also, I’ll have to look)

As the 50’s began to fade uniform hats became the norm.

The Naas Foods baseball hat got worn everyday even without the uniform as did all little league hats in town. I think it was city law that they be worn all the time. Notice the stylish crease in the top.

There were some hats that I just don’t know the origin of such as this hat in what must have been a photo shoot for the cover of the Canadian NRA magazine.

The 50’s ended and so did hats, except for baseball caps but Congressman Fred only was going after the 50’s so I’m clear but I do get some extra credit such as this mid 60’s summer band uniform that was the cutting edge of stylish band  stuff. As noted, mom found this on an old roll of film in an old camera years later.

That was pretty much the last hat on record except for the stupid beanie they made freshmen wear at Purdue back in those days.

And finally the green visor although not a hat is the last proof that I can pass on to Congressman Fred that I meet the requirements for being 66. This prior to a trip in the VW camper down Route 66 to Phoenix along in 74 as noted.

So having never really been a hat person, although I would wear one to the Purdue football games the last few years it is only fitting I leave with this as a ying yang hat thing. The ying being me older than these pictures and the yang a hat from 50 years ago the, Portland Panther High School baseball hat that has been used as a paint hat sometime in the past.

Apparently your head gets fatter with age also.

 

Hainan, the Hawaii of China, or so they claim

After a day home we were back in Chicago to fly to Hong Kong for what for me was a 5 week stay. We had a few days to adjust until we had to get on another plane to go to the island of Hainan for this years big company trip for everyone at the plant in Zhuhai.
Hainan is an island off the southern coast of China that they claim as the China Hawaii. As you see here it is real close to land as opposed to being in the middle of the ocean which makes it kind of not like Hawaii.

It is land material just like the mainland as opposed to a volcanic thing which is not like Hawaii. From what I understand Hawaii never gets too hot or too cold while this place is in the tropics and humid and hot which is not like Hawaii. It has been a vacation spot for Russians and in fact many of the stores have signs in Chinese and Russian instead of English. The entire island is a province of China and their main thing is tourism and boy do they work at keeping Chairman Mao happy with their over done Chinese tourism which I’m pretty sure is not like Hawaii.
Anyway, we flew to an airport on the northern coast and met up with the 3 buses the next morning. The buses had about a 6 or 8 hour trip from Zhuhai including being loaded on a ferry to get from the mainland.The overall trip involved riding the buses around the eastern edge to get to the southern city and touring stuff around there for 2 days.
So we got on the bus in the morning and was delighted to see that it was in fact a smook free bus.

Just so you know what a smook free bus looks like here is a picture.

Yes we all had the hats. Our first stop was an old Tao temple and grounds. Tao being the Ying Yang deal.

It was a pretty big place with many buildings and a big hill. I didn’t take many pictures of the buildings but you can see a few in the background here.

On these trips I spend most of the picture time taking pictures of the people and then those go in the main file at the company for all to look at, not so much buildings and stuff. Also most of the people on this trip are machine operators and general factory workers and they are young and, so I’ve been told, from the farm and have not had much opportunity to go places.As a result a lot of my pictures are posin’ pictures like this.

Quite a few pictures of people taking pictures of other people like this.

And of course the selfie takers like this girl that over the course of the 2 days I must have taken 5 or 6 of her taking selfies. Near as I can tel she must have been taping the entire trip in that position.

All of the places we went they force you to go through their sell you something building(s) to exit. Actually it is more that go through, they force you to walk through every isle by blocking any short cuts. Some even got you cornered for a sales pitch on their great product. I don’t think that is like Hawaii but it is the Chinese marketing way. At the temple we had to do that and then in the parking lot the locals were selling coconuts. You know just chop them open and drink.

A stop for lunch and then it was on to the next place, some convention center and a boat to an island that party big shots go to, or something. I missed a lot of where we were doing and it’s relevance because it was all in Chinese. The place had a fountain so there was posing for pictures and it was also hot and sunny so one of the supervisors dressed for the weather.

We took the boat to the island and got off and stood around and looked at the South China Sea.

As she did in Portland a week and half before, Mary checked out the water.

The first group photo was taken here.

Soon it was time to load up on the boat thing to head back to the big shot convention center and the buses to head to the next stop.

By this time Mary was showing the effects of hot and the selfie girl took another picture.

The next stop was a reenactment of a native village of the area that as near as I can tell wove rugs and worshiped dead steer skulls. When you first go in you see what is claimed to be a 90 year old practitioner of the local rug making art. Although she don’t look a day over 50.

One of the cow skull statues

You could try on traditional hats and take pictures. This is Jim, Mary’s original driver that now is purchasing, and his wife that also works at the plant.

They did a little skit of dating practices and tried to sell you some food stuff. You could walk by the fence of cow skulls.

Finally they lead us to a room where they tried to do a late night TV style hard sell to the women something, unbreakable cups I think.

From there it was out through the captive sell you something store with the descriptive sign.

That night we had a dinner on a dinner boat and while waiting for the other buses to arrive some from our bus posed.

In fact there was all kinds of posing at the dinner boat.
The chorus line.

The old people.

Mary and her HR manager. Her along with Mary’s secretary organize this thing each year.

Some girls doing something with their legs

And we finally got on the boat and soon the big shots of our little party were taken to the lower level of the boat. Mary and I, our GM, the HR lady and the production manager. They had one of those moving seat 3D things in the bottom of the boat. So we did some crazy ass roller coaster ride before dinner.

Dinner had various entertainment that required picture taking.

But it was so loud that we went outside to the top deck to look around. In China if your buildings don’t light up and change colors and patterns you are not a city.

So as the day came to an end there were end of day posing and end of day discussions before heading to the hotel to rest so it could be repeated the next day.

The next day started at an ocean front park. The first act was to take the official group photo and we had to hurry because a rain storm was about to happen.

We got into the park and the tropical rain started and we had about 20 minutes where it was too heavy for walking and as it started to let up a little some started out.

Another 10 minutes and it had let up enough that most took off for the shore.

After we got into the park it started raining again so we found a small shelter to wait it out. I took a picture of some balls.

When it let up Mary posed at the ocean again.

Then we both posed in front of a big rock that says “Take picture here” I think. Just about everyone on the tour took a picture. Hope they enjoy it.

We then made our way through the sell you stuff place and onto the buses headed for the next stop. The next stop was a place that grows roses, which are not to grown this far south with this soil and heat and whatever else they could think of to tell you why it couldn’t be done. Such a big deal that Xi Jinping (eleven) came here a couple years ago and tried on a funny hat.

There was some more group like photo taking.

We were driven around the grounds in these oversize golf carts.

The carts did have a warning to “sit tight and don’t stretch your hands and feet out of the running bus, don’t take up and down before the bus stops.”

There was a building across the way.

There was rose smellin’ goin’ on.

The selfie girl was at it again.

The HR lady and Mary’s secretary did some posing with the short lady.

Before we left here of course we were subjected to another get all the women in a room and hard sell them rose stuff and then turn them loose in the big rose stuff selling store. As I hurried to get out through the maze of isles I saw they had all kinds of rose smelling stuff, rose creams, lotions, perfumes, toilet paper, deodorant and about anything else you could think of. Mary bought a bunch.
From here we headed to a little island off shore the required a 5 minute ferry ride. This was a beach “condo” area that I think someone said had been developed or rented mostly by Russians. Basically it was just a small beach with stores and then a climb to the top of the island that we didn’t do.
But there was posing. Mainland in the background

There was a human form cut into a big rock, for posing I guess.

There were hammocks on the beach in a group of trees where we found a few of our people resting including the selfie girl apparently tired from taking selfies.

Eventually everyone ended up back at the beach where because they are young and around water things escalated.

Meanwhile us older folks stayed dry and in the shade.

As the day was running out we headed back to the mainland where we got one last chance to look at the South China Sea and the small island we had just come from.

A final chance to do enthusiastic jumping things for photo takers.

But it was onto the bus for the last stop which was some kind of coffee plant. There was nothing to see but there was a coffee plant to take a picture of.

This facility seems to be the only coffee roasting facility in China . While there was nothing to see there was a big store to go through. Mary bought some coffee and it actually is quite an nice coffee.

With that purchase the trip wrapped up. We were flying back to Zhuhai from the Southern airport a couple hours away the next morning while the buses would drive back. So we were dropped at our hotel and we saluted the end of the bus trip 2015.

Mary and her sales manager was scheduled to leave 3 days after we got back to Italy for a week and Poland for 3 days. I was staying in China and relaxing. That changed when we got back and I was headed to Wroclaw Poland for a week and a half. Her and Lynn would meet up with me for the last 3 days I would be there. So a Saturday night red eye from Hong Kong got me to Poland late Sunday afternoon.

An extremely sad announcement

I strongly suggest playing this music while reading this post.

It is with great regret that I need to tell you that the Pope and I will not be traveling from city to city anytime soon. (well maybe in 3 days, we will see). Fox News will not be calling. Because of an event that  could not have been foreseen those plans died away. This morning I came to my desk area to find that the image of Jesus bug was not feeling well, Actually that may be understating it’s status just a little bit. The image of Jesus bug was dead. One would have thought that such a bug would live longer that that but nonetheless the end came quickly. Here yesterday gone today. The Pope and I can’t very well be hauling a dead bug around so that plan is gone. Fox News probably is not as interested in a dead bug with the image of Jesus, although with them you never know. Therefore it is with great sadness I present the last picture of the image of Jesus bug.

May he rest in peace in the trash can at the end of my desk.

It’s a goldarn, goldarn miracle, miracle

I’m sure all readers recall the goldarn miracle  from last fall. A quick update, Fox News never did call, their loss I guess. Now they will wish they did.
Last night as I left my desk chair to go upstairs imagine my surprise, shock, and awe as i found on the floor at the bottom of the stairs the goldarn miracle bug. The outside temperature had not been above 10 for 4 days and we had had 18 inches of snow and yet here was the goldarn miracle bug right here on the basement floor. Again, it’s a goldarn miracle.I carefully transported the miracle bug to my desk for a photo shoot.

It was difficult to convince it to pose correctly.

After a couple more pictures trying to get the right pose for Fox News the That Guy Jesus Bug just up and ascended into the sky. Who know they could fly? I looked around for awhile but could find no trace.
Later that day imagine my not as shocked, and awed by noticing that right there on the patio door was the bug again. It had been resurrected. Halleluiah, I thought, this is greater than some mention on Fox News, that guy The Pope is going to want a piece of this. So I got a bug house, suitable for display.

Allowing for photo positioning.

And of course it allows for highly scientific viewing with the illuminated Big Eye light on my desk.

So now that there is a home for the bug I only need wait for the Pope guy to call. I can imagine it now, the Popester and I on the road going town to town erecting our tent and spreading the word though town. Maybe with one of those Cardinal guys working as the barker yelling out “It don;t walk, I’t don’t talk, it don’t crawl on its belly like a reptile but it does have the likeness of that guy Jesus on its back”
Coming soon to a town near you.

An announcement for all Junior Citizens

As of this morning President B. (I can’t spell Barack) Obama made an executive proclamation declaring that I, Michael S. Smith am now officially a Senior Citizen, I guess. I mean he gave me a Medicare card and as near as I can tell that means in the eyes of the government you are a Senior Citizen.  Of course my Congressman, Congressman Fred “just call me Fred’ Upton immediately announced that he would fight to repeal that order just like all other things Obama does. Congressman Fred said “I am not a scientist but there is no definitive proof that the passage of time results in aging and that aging leads to senior citizenry”. I will proceed with this announcement assuming that his efforts will be unsuccessful.
So what are the requirements to be a senior citizen you ask. Age seems to have a lot to do with it. The booklet and rules document I received indicated some of the following requirements.
Your earliest known photo has to be done in sepia thus proving that that is a real thing and not just some crappy filter on your phone or camera.

Although it could be sepia because, if I recall correctly, the couch and wallpaper combination might have short circuited a color camera of the day. Anyway we moved a couple months after this picture to the big mansion on E. Race St.
You and everyone else your age was posed naked on a shag rug for a picture.

Of course today there would be the risk of involving the law and prosecutors for doing this. I did consider doing a then and now picture but when I checked with the  Olan Mills they were not to interested and they didn’t have a big enough rug.

You need to be born 2 to 5 years before the first generally accepted as the first rock and roll songs. Some cite ‘Rocket 88’ from 1951

Of course one has to remember and identify a Rocket 88 running down the highway to qualify.
Others cite the 1954 ‘Rock Around the Clock’ because of its huge commercial success bringing rock and roll to the masses.

One note of importance all the dancing people in that video are too old to be senior citizens but they are included in the new demographic group being considered by congress, ‘The Olds’.

Most lawn mowers (including toy ones) didn’t have motors but cars did have fender skirts if you are old enough to be a Senior Citizen.

To be a senior citizen you needed to be wearing a flat brim hat 60 years before it was in style, although it didn’t need the big dumb sticker.

Thus proving that for my whole life I have been on the cutting edge of fashion.

Posing next to the brand new  55 Chevy Belair, yep that qualifies.

Painting a pole next to burning trash while wearing a Davy Crockett T shirt is also reason to qualify.

Feeding your youngest sister as a 9 year old during the same year Alaska and Hawaii became states is a qualifier.

Driving a 63 Chevy Impala station wagon to the Jr Prom, yep qualifies.

 

Also applies for the Sr. Prom, counts double if same suit and different tie and girl.

Graduate high school 2 years before man sets foot on the moon and a month before China gets the bomb is a qualifier.

Although it couldn’t have been a better time for music. Monterrey Pop 67 was in a month and this was 2 years before Woodstock. Here is Otis from Monterrey Pop. Watch the whole damn thing Junior Citizens.

Luckily I had proof for those and actually a few more but I guess this was enough to qualify.
All people that qualify of course are curious as to the benefits of being a Senior Citizen. First off if you are 65 you have already outlived 30% of the original group. That is a pretty big benefit. Hopefully the AARP will finally give up and quit sending requests for you to join their little club. While getting a hair cut the other day I saw that I will be able to save $2 on haircuts and if I get one on Tuesday I can save $4. I think they can do that because of the cost per hair that they have and statistically they found that seniors have less hair so if they can get them in they can actually make more profit per barber hour. Of course I could apply the fabric store logic that if I spend $40 and they tell me I saved $30 I’ll be real happy and buy more. Although when I told Mary to give them the fabric back and for them to give me $70 they seemed to change their story. So I could get a haircut every day and save something like $750 a year.

I’ve heard tell that I can now go to the mailbox in my underwear and nobody will complain. I can go down to the ‘all you can eat’ at 3:30 in the afternoon and fit right in. I can now use words like “whippersnapper” “by-cracky” and “sombitch” without sounding old.
Probably the best benefit is the little used but in my opinion quite useful benefit being able to replace all prefixes, titles, and honorifics with the all purpose call out “Junior Citizen” which I totally intend to exercise. From now on I can just not care who people are like Congressman Fred above, he is now Junior Citizen Fred. President Obama is now Junior Citizen Obama. So all you Junior Citizens just remember that there is a reason why you are only a lowly Junior Citizen and I’m not going to tell you what it is because in a few years I may forget what it is.
So all you Junior Citizens just turn down that music on that transistor radio, pull up them britches, go get a drink from the icebox, and goldarn it just stay the hell off the yard.

Getting a Chinese haircut

Before we left Wuhu Mary needed a haircut and so did I. Up to this point I had never been in China long enough to get a hair cut and I knew this trip I would need one and I knew it was going to be a problem. I’ve seen the Chinese guys. Other than the guys that shave their head or get a short haircut they all have hair cuts that are either cut at weird angles or have haircuts with no side hair so it was obvious that the Chinese barber does not know how to cut hair with longer hair on the side like I am prone to wear.
So we go to the hair place in Wuhu and walk in. Understand that hair places in China come in two styles. One that is basically some person cutting hair in  a back alley while you sit on an old box or the big production number places with hundreds of people working, all specializing in their various jobs. The cutting guy, the washing guy, the blowing guy, the sweeping guy, the stand around and chew gum lady etc. We went to the second place. Since it was all in Chinese I’m not sure what kind of directions got communicated but my instructions were to thin the top and trim the sides. What I got was trim the top and eliminate the sides. I other words, I got the Kim Jong Un special.

Turns out it wasn’t The Ebola

Our stay in Wuhu lasted 2 weeks although we had planned about a week and a half. The first 3 days was the dull grind of just going to the plant and doing work like stuff including taking a peanut butter sandwich for lunch since there are not any close restaurants. Thursday of that week Mary had a meeting in a place about a 3 hour drive from Wuhu so we got in the car and drove there on the genuine Chinese highway system. We survived. On the drive home Mary complained of being cold even though it was about 95 with 99% humidity. As it turned out she was getting sick. Friday she had fever, stuffed head, cough, and sore throat. Classic signs of summer cold or flu. At some point we went to the drug store to get Tylonol and she also found some Chinese stuff that is made just for this condition so of course she bought it. She said it tastes terrible but it cures this condition so she took it. Later that day or the next morning her fever was gone and she was on the road to recovery because the bad tasting stuff was a miracle drug. Add to that we went to the 5 star hotel next door on Saturday for a sauna and massage. This consisted of getting in a pool of very hot water for a while and then getting in a pool of water so hot you would swear your nuts are going to become hard boiled. Then go sit in a sauna for a while. That would cure any cold. By Sunday she was more or less recovered.
Monday came and it was back to work. We were to go to Shanghai on Thursday and fly back to Zhuhai on the weekend. So only 3 more days of the Wuhu boredom. I should note that Wuhu has a big military base so it seems that the internet is even more censored and just plain unusable than the rest of China so there is nothing to do although Mary was able to binge watch some Chinese doctor soap opera that had like 24 hour long episodes of 4 people talking to each other about the weather or something. By noon Monday, as we went to lunch at the big hotel, I could tell that I was coming down with something, either The Ebola or a cold. I went to the apartment for the rest of the day and by the time Mary got home I had a fever, stuffed head, sore throat, and lungs completely full of crap. Based on her recovery time I figured 24 hours and I would be much better. Of course she insisted that I take the miracle drug which I was not overly inclined to do but ended up doing anyway. This was a little 1 inch plastic bottle with maybe 1/2 ounce of black liquid. When I asked what was in it I was told that it was 50% various plant oils and 50% alcohol. It smelled horrible and in fact tasted worse. My original taste thought was that it contained something like condensed anteater farts. Which of course causes you to ponder life at the condensed anteater fart factory. Envisioning some little Chinese guy going down a row of penned anteaters trying to collect farts in a fart collection container and then delivering them to the compression machine that probably leaks smell like a tomato canning plant. The alcohol had to be rejected stuff from the “Chinese Wine” which is not actually wine but basically Chinese moonshine and is the worse tasting stuff I’ve ever drank. This alcohol was rejected for tasting too bad to be used for that. (A few days later I identified the actual taste and smell. It was in fact creosote the stuff they treat railroad ties and telephone poles with) The next morning it was obvious that it was not a miracle drug as I was worse than the day before. I ate just a few bites of lunch Tuesday and that was it. By that night since if anything I was getting worse I agreed to go to the hospital the next morning. I didn’t really want to get mixed up in the Chinese medical system.
Wednesday morning we took of for the university hospital towards the center of the city about 20 minutes away. We get there and low and behold there are about 10000000 sick Chinese there. We parked and went into the building to start the procedure of getting cured. Now the Chinese hospital is not exactly the same as the hospitals I am normally familiar with. First off what we were dealing with is more like a walk in clinic except it is spread through out many buildings. One for nose stuff, one for stomach stuff, one for ass stuff, and so on. So we go in and first pay some money and are given documents to go see a doctor in another building. We get there and ask around and are pointed to a small room with a desk and the doctor comes out of what I assume was the smoking lounge and sits at the desk. I get to sit on a short stool. The doctor and Mary begin discussing my condition in Chinese and at no time did I catch the word Ebola. About this time the next people to see the doctor show up. By show up I mean the mother and her sick kid along with grandma grandpa uncles aunts and I think Chairman Mao’s brother in law all crowd right in the tiny room with us and get real interested in my condition. By crowded I mean if the doctor had needed to check my prostrate for some reason the mother and sick kid would have passed their proctology exam and became certified. After more discussion and the taking of my temperature the doctor decided that I was sick and prescribed a couple pills. I have no idea why or what they were because the whole thing was in Chinese and Mary was not exactly translating. So we get up and crowd through the family with the sick kid and go to another building to get the amazing wonder drugs the doctor ordered. We get them and head to the car.Once there Mary insisted that I had to take them now, but she couldn’t tell me what they were  because they were in Chinese. I took them finally and we headed to the apartment and I tried to sleep. I did try to find what this stuff was and the only way was to look up the chemical formula which I found on the inside paper. When I searched I only got about 5 hits, all Chinese web sites. One was in English and told me the name which I had never heard of and don’t remember, didn’t find any interaction issues but did note that the possible side effects include things like nausea, vomiting, liver stuff, kidney stuff, and a whole bunch of other things and I think it noted that all appendages may shrivel up and fall off. With absolutely no major drug company cross link or any rest of the world link I was somewhat concerned. It did note something about antibacterial. The other drug was some herbal crap. As the morning progressed I was feeling worse and worser. Since I had not eaten since noon the day before I felt I had to have something for lunch because the lack of food could be adding to my condition. When Mary got home at noon she cooked one egg and 1/2 piece of toast. I recall commenting that I didn’t really feel like eating it because the thought of it just made me want to throw up. I set down and took 1 bite of egg and didn’t feel great but tried another which immediately triggered an involuntary stomach rejection of said food so a quick run to the toilet to empty said stomach. I have not had a regurgatative event in decades but apparently the warnings weren’t kidding. I began to be concerned about my shriveling appendages. So with that I decided we needed a different doctor input as I wasn’t taking any more of these torture pills.
We found another hospital less than 5 minutes from the apartment and was there for the 2PM return to work. Saw another doctor and pointed out I thought penicillin would be best. They agreed after finding that my temperature was now about 103. Now in the
US you would get some big pills to take. In China you go to a room with a bunch of other people and sit in a chair and get hooked up to an IV and sit there for a couple hours. After 1/2 hour my fever broke and by the time I left I felt much better. I did this for the next 2 mornings and by the time the last one was over Friday morning I felt Ok other than a nagging cough and being 8 pounds lighter. Since I seemed to have recovered it must not have been The Ebola.
Since Mary rescheduled here meeting in Shanghai we said good by to the Wuhuvers Sunday and took the train to Shanghai. stayed in our usual hotel behind the Russian embassy, had dinner at the expensive Peace Hotel restaurant, went to the meeting Monday and flew back to Zhuhai Monday night. Here are a couple typical Shanghai pictures since I didn’t take any sickness pictures.

Yep that a full moon

With the return to Zhuhai we had 3 days to continue to recover from Wuhu and The Ebola before we took off for a week vacation at the Grace Vineyard and Dunhuang home of the Mogao Caves so study up.

The Third annual bush trimming event.

It’s actually more than the third since it has to be done every year, but it is the third time it has been recorded for history here. If you will recall a couple years ago I was watched by this guy while sweating my ass off.

Last year it was hand to some insectical appendage combat with Osama Bee Laden and Wasp Vader and a good portion of the rest of the animal and plant kingdom. You can relive those events in the last year July archive.
This year, nothing. Trimmed the bushes and sweat my ass of just the same but no harassment from the animal or plant kingdom. Although….
A couple days later Hare Rabbit, a known NeoCon in the animal kingdom was out stirring support for another invasion.

The Hare guy convinced his other NeoCon propagandist Bill Kristolmunk to stop by a couple days after that and to try to stir up the masses.

So today as I went out to cook lunch I saw that Cheney the Turtle had arrived. Yes he was a week late but he is a turtle and, you know, slow.

Since this is 2d media here is my shoe so that you can sense just how big a turtle we are looking at here.

While Cheney was busy promoting an invasion I was able to get a couple action photos.

One thing that he can not lie about is that he is not a big fan of nail salons.

So it is probably just as well that I am leaving for China this week since these guys keep trying to stir things up but, thankfully, the animal nation is not listening to them after the serious defeat they incurred last year. And they better not try to follow me to China because over there they are collectively known as ‘the appetizer ‘.

This years bush trimming has been checked off as completed.

It’s July which means it is time for the annual trimming of the bushes. If you will recall last year this guy spent the time watching me sweat my ass off.

This year things got ugly.
Luckily this year the temperature was not so hot and I got a good start on the first day working the front of the house in the morning, in the shade. Over the course of the summer I had noticed bees entering and exiting through a hole that a chipmunk had opened up last year as an entrance to his underground villainous hideaway. I run the chipmunk off last year and covered the hole but he must have emailed the bees this spring  and sublet it to them. So when I got to the front porch I decided it was time to run them off. My plan was to flood them out. Thinking that the underground lair wouldn’t have a real fancy drainage system I set the hose to trickle into the hole at just enough volume that all the water went into the hole and let that run for about 45 minutes.

Di hydrogen monoxide delivery device

At this point there were about 8 or 9 bees trying to figure out how to get into their secret hideout so I called in a drone wasp spray strike. Powerful stuff. Bee bodies everywhere. But off to the right I saw the ground moving and a bee head start to appear.

I stood there and watched this and as it emerged it looked different than the others.After it had flown away I realized it was probably the queen.
Crap, here I stood channeling that guy George W. Bush, I let Osama Bee Ladin get away. I left the bee carnage lay as a warning to any bees happening along that this was a war zone.
I then decided to take out the big ugly tree/bush tings that were growing up around the electrical boxes in the front yard. This turned out to be more difficult than expected and after an hour of sweating, sawing, pulling and hacking they were out. Hot and now time for lunch. I washed my hands, cleaned my face, used the toilet and generally tried to stop the profuse sweating by wiping down with the towel. Store this fact for future use.
I ate lunch and waited for the sun to get on the other side of the house and attacked the back yard. As I was trimming the last bush I nicked the electrical cord with the trimmer. Only the second time I had ever done this. So now I have 2 cut cords and not enough length with the 1 remaining cord to finish. So I decided I was done for the day. I moved everything into the garage, that had all doors open, only to be dive bombed by a bird. Apparently the bees had called in reinforcements. So I spent about 15 minutes trying to get the bird out of the garage, because, you know, they poop all over everything. The bird never went lower than any of the door openings. I mean how stupid can a bird be. If only there were some phrase that could be used here to describe the mental capacity of this birds brain. While chasing the bird around the garage I looked out and sitting at the garage door opening was a rabbit. Not only had the bees called in the air force they brought in ground troops.  I gave up and sometime around dark the bird finally figured out how to leave and I closed up the garage.
The next day, Saturday, started by fixing the cords and finishing all the trimming and the starting the major task of a big trimming of the tree in the front corner of the rock wall area. Because of the wet year we have had all the trees have grown a lot. In fact a thousand years from now when the archeologists study the tree rings they will say “That year was a good growing year”. I got my long tree cutting device and completed that. Even the bugs were having a good year.

That morning when I checked on the bees I saw that they had again gained admittance to the underground lair. This time no fooling around with the water, I went straight to the drone strike and continued that the rest of the day. Now, 2 weeks later they appear to have been defeated.
With the mowing of the yard and general clean up the trimming was complete, except for one thing. But that thing got delayed. On Monday morning I woke up with my right eye almost swollen shut a rash all over my face, arms and hands. It seems that I had some kind of poison something and the online things suggested a doctor visit because of the various locations. So I spent the next week waiting for that to go away. Now 2 weeks later it is still on my arms to some degree. Remember the piece of data above I told you you would need later. My guess is that I had this poison ivy or whatever fuju juice on my hands that got on the towel that got on my face etc. I guess the bees also called in the plant kingdom as I’ve never had poison anything.
So yesterday I took on the last remaining part of this project. All summer I’ve been watching wasps go from the top of the deck to under the deck through the board crack between the second and third boards. I know what I was going to find and now that the bushes were trimmed and I could get near the underside of the deck that is what I did. I found the wasp death star. The front yard bees had sent a signal across the vastness of space and called in Wasp Vader.

My first thought was to attack this with my golf ball water hazard retriever but it was broken and just in the recon work that got the above picture I realized that being close to the death star was not a good idea. So I went with water by hooking the hose in the fence around the deck and locking it on I could shoot water without even being close. I did have to go recon after each trial to figure out the aiming. and to do this I had to get down on my hands and knees and look up about 2 feet away from the big death star which meant I was in the protection zone of the areal drones which at this point were pissed because of the water. I managed to get the water aimed correctly without being stung and went to war. This morning I surveyed the damage. The deck showed the results of some of the areal battle.

Investigating under the deck shows that the death star has been defeated and its drone pods wrecked.

So you can see that this year was a very difficult year for bush trimming. The thing is if it keeps raining it may have to be done again before winter.
The bright side of this is that it gives opportunity for a few bee music selections. First up is the great 60 surf music band the Ventures.

Man you can’t get better than that. Oh wait, yes you can. How about an 80’s hair band and an accordion.

Then there is the original recording of a song that has been covered by just about every blues and rock band. I’m a King Bee

And finally for those of you in the brass section of the band we got Harry James on trumpet. In fact I think this would be a good song for the marching band to use as it would get the show over quickly, less time for mistakes.

So, until next year just buzz off.